Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Mark Morford: The Real State Of The Union

 
The Real State Of The Union
How to address a bitter, war-torn but still somehow giddy and deeply horny nation
By Mark Morford

My fellow Americans, we're not as royally screwed as everything Bush has done during his miserable term in office would have you believe.

Yes, we are on the brink of epic destruction involving war and sweaty religious nutballs and a mad grab for the planet's few remaining gurgles of oil and the general appalling lousiness of the new TV season. But that's not necessarily a bad thing. Destruction can be healthy. A positive force. Destruction sweeps the place bare, scrubs out the spiritual colon, cleanses the palate for what's next. And besides, have you seen "Grey's Anatomy"? Totally cute.

But here's the best part: No one really knows what's next. Oh sure, we have prognosticators and pundits and professional fearmongers from the GOP and the religious right who want to tell you that the apocalypse is nigh and God hates everything you do and if the terrorists don't get your fresh innocent white babies, the gays or the pot smokers or the rappers will.

But the truth is, we really haven't the slightest clue what's going on. Hell, 20 years ago, who could have predicted the insane rise of the Internet? The success of the Toyota Prius? Five-hundred-dollar Gucci iPod cases? Polyphonic ring tones? Dark matter? The baffling success of Ashlee Simpson? Puggles? This much we know: We don't know squat. Except, of course, that there is one hell of a lot more to know. ...

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